25 ways to piss me off.

1. Make any repetitive noise. 
2. Talk on your cell phone while I'm behind you in line. 
3. Talk on your cell phone while pumping gas. Next to me. 
4. Talk on your cell phone while driving in front of me, slowly, under the speed limit, braking too much, while trying to find your way around. 
5. Talk on your cell phone anywhere around me. 
6. While noticing I'm in distress, try to have a serious conversation about your feelings. 
7. Sing off key loudly while listening to your iAnything. Beat the tune off beat on any surface you can find while you're at it. 
8. Send me religious propaganda.
9. Send me political propaganda. 
10. Expect me to respond to your propaganda. 
11. Call me before attempting to email or text me ... like it's 1999.
12. Drive up next to me and pump up the base in your ridiculously pimped out car. 
13. Pee on my toilet seat. Really? How hard is this? 
14. Tell me you don't vote because politics doesn't matter to you. Then complain about how 'they' don't salt when its snowing, or that 'they' don't fix potholes, or that you are dissatisfied with your child's 'public' education. 
15. Thank god when something good happens to you and blame yourself when something bad does. 
16. Try to validate Rush Limbaugh and/or Glenn Beck generated fear and hatred. 
17. Women, vote the way your husband votes because any other way would be canceling out your votes. 
18. Don't vote. Especially women and minorities. Make all the hard work your ancestors did for you all for naught. 
19. Pretend to be someone your not. 
20. Promise something to a child, knowing you never plan to fulfill it. 
21. Ride a motorcycle without a helmet going 90 on the expressway like the idiot you so obviously are. Like you don't have a parent, a spouse, a sibling, a friend or a child that worries about you every time you do so we can all stare at the cross erected in your honor on the side of the road, eventually.  
22. Run up your credit, then call yourself independent. 
23. Keep your child from the non-custodial parent just because you want to punish them. Then go to church and tell everyone lies about it all. 
24. Tell me to trust you, then betray me. 
25. Suggest that I might be PMS'ing ... even if I am.